Dream Life Chapter 42: “Determination”

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 Tomorrow, May 25, is my birthday.

 

 This year marks my tenth birthday, which is considered a milestone.

 

 

 I’m going to tell my family that I’m going to leave this village and enter the Tyria Magic Academy in the academic city of Doctus.

 

 But before telling my parents and grandfather, I wanted to tell Liddy, the woman I love the most, about my decision.

 

 

 Dinner is over and it’s time to practice magic, as usual. Since the level of my magic has improved recently, it is more like a time for chatting than practicing magic, but I am still not able to stop practicing magic with the young woman, who is actually over 50 years old, as an excuse to enter her room. So, I still continue to “practice” as an excuse.

 

 

 When I enter her room, I see Liddy sitting on a chair as usual.

 

 Normally, I would lightly call out to her as I enter, but today I was a little nervous as I walk into the room.

 

 

 She notices my presence, and with a curious look on her face, she asks me, “What’s wrong? You’re acting differently.” She stood up and approached me with a concerned look on her face,

 

 I stop her with my hand to tell her I’m okay, and then I start to talk to her, “I have something important to tell you.”

 

 

“I’m thinking of going to Doctus in July. It’s to enter the Academy of Magic…” (Zack)

 

 

 Liddy was surprised at the suddenness of my topic of conversation.

 

 

“You can’t enter the magic academy until you’re twelve years old. You’re not even two years away.” (Liddy)

 

 

 I shook my head.

 

 

“Nicholas told me that there is no age limit for admission. If you pass the exam, you can enter no matter how old you are. The age of twelve is a kind of customary age.” (Zack)

 

 

 

 She looks at me in disbelief,

 

 

“You won’t learn anything by joining the academy. You are already more skilled than a graduate.” (Liddy)

 

“I know that but at least I’ll learn something more on my own. I heard that they have the largest library in the world. I heard that if you enter the academy, you can freely enter. If that’s the case…” (Zack)

 

“What are you going to learn? I will teach you. I’ll tell you everything I know…” (Liddy)

 

 

 She can’t believe I’m leaving and is a little distraught.

 

 

“What I’m not good at are the attributes that Liddy doesn’t have, the dark attributes and the metallic nature. I think the dark attribute, in particular, has a lot of potential. Hence…” (Zack)

 

 

 She interrupted me mid-sentence.

 

 

“So that’s why… you’re done with me? You alone…” (Liddy)

 

 

 Then she suddenly brightens up, as if she has just thought of something.

 

 

“I’ll go with you. I like this village, but I’d rather be with you. And there’s no reason why I should stay here.” (Liddy)

 

“What are you going to do about Sharon’s training? Both her magic and swordsmanship are taught by Liddy. Aside from magic, I don’t think her swordsmanship has reached the level of acceptable self-defense yet, right?” (Zack)

 

 

 She said, “Ugh,” and stumbled over her words.

 

 

“And don’t you hate it there in Doctus, with all the people? You’ve finally started getting used to the people in this village, and can you really go back to a city full of strangers?” (Zack)

 

 

 Inside, I didn’t want to leave Liddy either. But I was also hesitant to take her to the big city of Doctus because of her shyness and fear of strangers.

 

 

“That’s all right. There’s you… I could even be in Pericritor when I was with Govie… so the problem is with Sharon…” (Liddy)

 

 

 A silence fell between them. Then Liddy came up with something again and began to speak somewhat excitedly.

 

 

“I get it! Sharon should go to the academy with us. She’s going to get in for sure. I’m sure of it!” (Liddy)

 

“I don’t think we can make a decision without asking her. Besides, there is the tuition fee. I heard that the top five in the entrance examination are exempted from paying the admission fee, but the tuition fee should be at least 3,000 C per year (=3 million yen). I don’t think I can make Guy pay for that.” (Zack)

 

 

 Liddy sagged at my words.

 

 

“I understand. I’ll check with Sharon and see what she wants to do. I can pay the entrance and tuition fees. So…” (Liddy)

 

“Sharon is only ten years old. She is not old enough to be separated from her parents. She is a girl. You need to think about that before you talk to her.” (Zack)

 

 

 She gave a small nod, but mumbled, “Why all of a sudden…”

 

 

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’ve wondered if I’m going to be here for the rest of my life. If I’m going to stay, I need to be strong enough to protect this village…” (Zack)

 

 

 I’m going to have to tell her about the encounter with the “God’s Chosen” that is going to happen soon.

 

 

“I am a coward. When will the ‘Chosen of the Gods’ appear in front of me? How soon after I meet them will the ‘Opposer of the Gods’ make a move on me? When I think about it, I realize how little time I have left. That’s why I’ve been going into the forest for the past two years, even if it meant cutting back on my time with Liddy, Mel, and the others. So, I’d like to do whatever I can to help me in any way I can. …If the academy turns out to be useless, I may just quit as soon as I can. I don’t want to take Sharon to a place like that…” (Zack)

 

 

 Liddy is shocked by my words, but she doesn’t speak.

 

 

“I love my family, this village, and Liddy, now, more than the family and hometown in my old world. …I don’t want any of them getting hurt. For that, I’m even willing to ignore what God tells me…” (Zack)

 

 

 And I decided to tell her all my thoughts.

 

 

“I think so now, but it’s God I’m dealing with. It would be easy for him to play with my mind. In the dream, he said that he would respect my intentions, but that doesn’t mean he would abide by them. …No, he would abide by them, but he might just ‘adjust’ my ‘intentions’ a bit. When that happens, I may not be able to think about my family, about this village, or about Liddy…” (Zack)

 

 

 Liddy mumbles, “How could…” and her eyes widen.

 

 

“The only way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to follow the gods’ will. For me to be me… I have to be strong. Or, I have to be strong enough for God to say, ‘Well done.’ …And I think I’m going to meet the ‘Fated Child’ in a few years, maybe.” (Zack)

 

 

 She tilted her head slightly, “How do you know? It might be further ahead.”

 

 

“But from what I heard in my dream, I remember they asked me to protect and guide them. The other person must be five years younger than me. That would make them five years old now. Ten years from now, they will be 15. If the condition is ‘protect and guide’ it is more natural to think that I will meet them within the next ten years.” (Zack)

 

 

 She seems to be desperately trying to figure out if there is any way to keep me around.

 

 

“…Then you don’t have time to go to Doctus, do you?” (Liddy)

 

“Oh. I might be stronger if I practice swordsmanship here with Grandfather. However, my strongest weapon is magic. In order to improve the power of my magic, I really need to go to Doctus. Of course, even if I go to Doctus, I will continue my sword training and go into the forests and mountains. There are more monsters there than around here, so it will be good training.” (Zack)

 

 

 After she quietly said, “You’ve thought that far ahead.”

 

 

“Then I wish you had talked to me about it earlier. I really want to talk to you about something you’ve decided to do on your own. …but I understand. I’ll think about it. I can wait for you here or I can go with you. But you need to talk to Mel and Sharon before you go. I know they are just children to you, but they are old enough to think for themselves. Besides… …It’s fine.” (Zack)

 

 

 I was curious about what Liddy had stopped talking about halfway through.

 

 

“And you’re curious, aren’t you?” (Zack)

 

“Do you know how they feel about you? They’ve always loved you. Ever since they were this little, you know?” (Liddy)

 

 

 She gestures at a height of about one foot from the floor.

 

 

“Yeah, I kind of knew. But it’s not a relationship between a man and a woman, is it? Isn’t it the love between family members?” (Zack)

 

 

 Liddy just looked exasperated and shook her head, “I knew you didn’t understand.”

 

 

“The only reason those children were able to work so hard was because of their family? Govie’s training is not something a five-year-old can endure. Neither can Sharon. She studied so hard because she wanted to be with you, and she pushed herself very hard in her magic practice. No matter how talented a child is, he or she would never be able to work that hard.” (Liddy)

 

 

 I certainly thought Mel and Sharon’s hard work was extraordinary for a small child. But I thought that was because my common sense was bound by the common sense of my original world, Japan. Then I remembered Dan, another member of the Zack Quartet.

 

 

“So what about Dan?” (Zack)

 

“That boy likes Mel.” (Liddy)

 

 

 I didn’t need Liddy to tell me, I was aware of it too. I had noticed it too, but I think I just didn’t want to put it into words.

 

 

“That’s true. They’re all honest and good children. I don’t want to ruin their lives with my mission. That’s why…” (Zack)

 

“So, you’re just going to ignore what those children think and go it alone? I’ll say it again. Those children are old enough to think for themselves. So, tell them what you think, what you feel. I don’t know what kind of decision they will make. But if they have thought it over, it is your duty to accept it.” (Liddy)

 

 

 I couldn’t find the words to reply to Liddy’s words.

 

 

(It’s true that they’re still 10 and 11 years old. But that doesn’t mean I can ignore their feelings. Tomorrow, I’ll talk about it. What kind of person I am and what I came here to do. And how I’m going to live my life from now on…) (Zack)

 

 

 

 

 I left Liddy’s room and went back to my room.

 

 I lay on my bed and thought about many things.

 

 

(What am I going to do now? It’s all well and good to listen to god and help the “Chosen of the Gods” but how do you accomplish that? But how do we accomplish that? I don’t want my village to be in danger. I don’t want my family or Mel and the others to be in danger. …If I stay here, my grandfather and father will try to protect me. But is that what I want? I’m too dangerous for them. I don’t want to put my family in danger…) (Zack)

 

 

 And then I remembered the oracle when I was three years old.

 

 

(When I think about it this way, the gods have put me through a lot of trouble. I don’t remember much, but I think it said that if I lived the way I wanted to live, I would naturally serve the gods’ purpose. But now I feel like I’m not living the way I want to live. …I’m certainly trying to become strong, which I want to be, and I’m thinking about leaving so I don’t cause trouble for my family. But this isn’t the result of me living the way I want to live. Well, I’m thinking of going on a trip, but it’s more like training.) (Zack)

 

 

 Then I realized something.

 

 

(If you think of it as training, that might be in line with what I wanted. I had always subconsciously wanted to improve my abilities. Yes, I even chose the TRPG setting as my desire. So, my current situation may be exactly what I wanted. Although it could be said to be an extremely cunning trap…) (Zack)

 

 

 Then, though unscrupulous, an idea occurred to me.

 

 

(If I think of it as a TRPG, this could be considered the first campaign scenario. Then, if I clear this one, I can start a new adventure. The drawback is that the conditions for clearing the game are not clear, but it might produce better results if we think of it in that way. I know it’s unfair to the gods and to my family, but I can’t do it without thinking like this. …If the way I’m satisfied is to clear the scenario, I should do so as much as I can…) (Zack)

 

 

 

 Thus, I’ve made up my own mind about my departure.

 

 

 

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