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T/N: No body knows Dignified Fungal Balls’ real name, so it is Balls for now.
~3rd Person Perspective~
The man has single-mindedly continued to hide his simmering ambition.
He refused to be in a crowd, hated to rely on others, and continued to walk the path of solitude alone.
He was single-mindedly sharpening his fangs for the day to come.
Unexpectedly, a turning point came in the spring of his twenty-fifth year.
It was the sixty-fifth year of the Tokyo calendar. At the time, anti-government activities were suddenly becoming more active in many areas, and a group calling itself “Ghidorah” was particularly fierce. A group of genuine martial artists, led by a master-rank former hunter, and composed entirely of Fungal Genius, they overran numerous settlements and small cities.
The Ghidorah eventually turned their attention to the Akabane Tribe and kidnapped a key political figure in the territory. They demanded an exorbitant ransom, and if they did not comply, they would murder the hostages and engage in destructive activities in their territory.
The Akabane chief, in consultation with the hunters’ guild, decided to send a man as a negotiator. Although only a handful of people, including the chief, knew his name, he was chosen by the branch chief, who said, “Although he is unknown, he is surely the most skilled man in Akabane.”
Unexpectedly, he returned to Akabane with a cloth bag filled with ransom money and an unharmed hostage.
All that remained in the “Ghidorah” campsite, which looked like the aftermath of a storm, were the corpses of all the members, including the boss.
–A young hunter who had been a member of the Akabane branch for five years. Even the members of the same union were mostly unaware of his existence. He had been hiding his claws from the public, and the sudden rise of heroism toward him was nothing but annoying.
But at the same time, he knew that the time had come.
He decided that it was time to let the ambition that burned deep within him blossom.
As if the shadowy figure he had been up to that point was a lie, he made a dazzling appearance on the stage. He completely conquered the Iwabuchi Metro, which was considered impregnable, defeated bandits and terrorists, escorted important people, and taught his younger colleagues how to fight.
He is a skilled “Mage” with the unique skill to manipulate golden hypha balls at will. In the blink of an eye, his name, “Golden Wind,” which he had always kept secret from the public, became known even in other cities, and he was recognized as one of the top hunters in the world.
Then came the fateful day.
The day of the announcement of the national hunter ranking for that year.
He had been told in advance through the staff that his name would appear on the list. He was almost certain to be ranked number one this year.
(Finally.) (Balls)
(It’s finally starting.) (Balls)
His solitude, his study, had been for this moment.
After overcoming all hardships and tribulations, he would now become a ball.
–Yes, into a ball that shines gold.
His ambition was to make known to the world the truth that guides him.
–He had to show the world that golden balls were the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
A stagnant fool does not realize it. The value of what hangs from their loins can be compared to that of the planet itself.
In the center of the circle of life, there always shines a golden ball. We should offer prayers of thanks 10,000 times a day is not enough.
(Men of the world.) (Balls)
(Stand up!) (Balls)
To bring awareness to those wretches who are coasting in the stagnation of ignorance. He was convinced that this was his mission.
–Finally, his name will appear in a national newspaper.
Aiming for this moment, he applied to the guild to change his registered name.
The name was changed from “Golden Wind” to “Golden Testicles Paradise”.
What would they think when they saw the name of this country’s top ranker, would they sneer at him or scorn him? Some might say, “Screw you,” and some might be indignant.
That’s fine. Awareness is the beginning.
For at least one day tomorrow, the whole country will be thinking about testicles.
And so, the day of the announcement arrived.
He traced the “Top 15 hunters of the 65th year” listed in the booklet that arrived in the morning from the bottom–his eyes stopped at the top of the list.
“Fungal Balls Paradise” A member of the Akabane branch.
(Such…) (Balls)
(Stupidity…) (Balls)
He couldn’t help but doubt his own eyes. He certainly should have specified “Golden Balls” in his name change application form. However, both the booklet and the newspaper are written as “Fungal Balls”.
Was this a malicious misprint or was it intentional? Either way, he felt as if everything he had worked so hard to accumulate was being denied.
(I am…) (Balls)
(Not Fungal Balls!) (Balls)
Fungal Balls grabbed the newspaper, whipped out his shaky legs, and ran to the guild. He could feel the eyes of the people looking at him as they passed by, colored with curiosity, embarrassment, and shame, and he couldn’t help but feel even more humiliated and aroused, guessing that it was all because of the typographical error.
The branch manager appeared out of breath with the face of an ogre and greeted him with a deflated look, as if he were about to collapse to the floor.
“I’m sorry… That was not a typographical error, but rather a change we made to your application and submitted it to headquarters. I take full responsibility—” (Manager)
“Why did you do that!? Depending on the circumstances–” (Balls)
“I-I had no choice! At the direction of the Chief, it was a political decision!” (Manager)
Fungal Balls was furious. He did not understand politics. But with a heart more sensitive to injustice than most, he stormed into the chief’s office.
“–We have not forgotten that we owe you a great debt for the Ghidorah incident…” (Ayame)
As one would expect from a woman who has been through the “Demon War,” she is a woman who experienced many battles, and she responded to Fungal Balls’ spirit, which looked as if he might explode at any moment, with undaunted unconcern.
“As an inexperienced patriarch, I can’t even find words of praise for your painstaking devotion to this day. However… it would be a disgrace to the proud women of the Akabane to display such an undignified name alongside the Tribe’s.” (Ayame)
“What part of that is undignified! Then where the hell were you born from?” (Balls)
“Then you didn’t have any evil intentions?” (Ayame)
Fungal Balls was at a loss for an answer.
“We also hesitated until the very end… and we could not refuse the request of our indebted heroes, and we would have been able to say that it was a pure display of our abilities if we did not have ‘Paradise’. As a result of the most abysmal discussions in our history, we used the character for “Fungal” as a desperate measure. In that case, while reading aloud your intentions, we can get rid of the chances of the People of the Thread, saying, ‘Oh, how stupid! Gahaha!’” (Ayame)
“Huh, you’re still using your tricks! Your irrelevant concern has hurt my pride!” (Balls)
On the verge of the birth of the evilest terrorist in the history of New Tokyo, with the tearful persuasion of the men, Fungal Balls decided to put down his sword of vengeance. As the blazing rage cooled down, he strangely felt that “Fungal Balls” was not bad at all.
“Now my Fungal Balls. I became so passionate that I didn’t have time to worry about my appearance when I left the house. I am not even wearing pants, let alone underwear.” (Balls)
Fungal Balls blushed with excitement.
Over the next twenty years, he would continue to reign at the top of the hunter industry. For the show, for preaching, for mastering the path.
During that time, he changed his name a total of ten times, and phrases such as “testicles,” “scrotum,” and “man balls” were rejected and altered without permission.
His fame has always been distorted, and he has often been perceived as an urban legend whose existence is even in doubt.
It was more than ten years after he voluntarily retired from the top position that he came up with his current name, “Dignified Fungal Balls”, when he was nearly 60 years old.
It is the name that has stayed with him the longest so far, but another name may appear on the front page when the years go by. Even though he is approaching 70 years of age, there is no end in sight to his quest.
T/N: WTF? Well, that’s an interesting hunter history.
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